Change
by IlovemyDeanBean
Summary: Maybe, maybe if we try, a friendship can come from all of this...


I took my love and I took it down  
Climbed a mountain then I turned around  
  
  
  
  
  
She yawned, climbed out of bed and made her way to the bathroom, where she stood in the cold of the morning and just looked at herself in the mirror.  
  
How old she'd become. How the years didn't do her justice, she looked like she's lived two lifetimes.  
  
The man in the bed beside her, the years hadn't affected him, he still acted like he was alittle boy, living each day carelessly. And she hated it.  
  
She hated the way he lived for the day, didn't consider what she had planned for the future. One hand on her empty belly, Abby sighed, pulled her hair into a messy ponytail, and walked out into her room, getting dressed for work.  
  
  
  
And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills  
Well the landslide brought me down  
  
  
  
He rolled over, moving his arm off the arm of some woman's cool back. He rolled away, trying not to get one more whiff of perfume in his nose, one more accidental touch.  
  
Nothing that would make him change his mind, that everything he'd done was an accident. It was easier to get up in the cold of the morning, the air still filled with dew, and leave, not looking over his shoulder.  
  
That way, he could go through his day, pretending like nothing had changed. Luka pulled the door to the gas station bathroom open, and stood in front of the warped mirror.  
  
The picture he kept in his wallet, the one with the fuzzy children, the faceless wife, he looked so young there. No bags under his eyes, no lines burned into his forehead, no old age. No proof of all he had been through.  
  
Looking down at his bare hand, the one where he had just recently slipped off his wedding ring, he realized. Looking at himself in the mirror, he had lived two lifetimes.  
  
  
  
Oh, mirror in the sky  
What is love?  
  
  
  
"Abbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbby!" the child yelled,"ABBBBBBBBBBBBBBBY!"  
  
She winced, hiding the syringe behind her back. In her head, she had it figured out. Ignore everything they yelled at her, slip into one room after the other, do her job.  
  
Then go home. Away from the children with sunken cheeks and bruises under their eyes that cry and dig their nails into her arms when she goes to do the iv, to insert the medication.  
  
"Nooooo! No needles!" the child screamed, kicking his feet wildly against the bed so hard Abby could imagine the bruises that would form on his small heels, on the side of his ankles.  
  
"I need a hand, Abby" Gallant stuck his head in the room,"Whenever you're...not busy"  
  
  
  
Can the child within my heart rise above  
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides  
Can I handle the seasons of my life  
  
  
  
  
The older woman dug her nails into Luka's arm, her bottom lip shaking with fear."My daughter told me to come sooner, and I didn't listen. What do kids know?"  
  
"She was right to be worried about you. You are her mother, how about a chem 7, Malik?" Luka ran a hand through his black hair, took a deep breath and looked up at the male nurse standing next to him.  
  
"Alrighty" Malik watched him slowly tread from the room, leaving the chart at the foot of the old woman's bed.  
  
He kept walking, brushing past the patients in the hall that cried out for some help, grabbed the tails of his coat, Randi waving a phone at him, the nurses yelling his name.  
  
Luka kept walking, leaving his coat and scarf in the lounge as he walked quickly outside,eager to watch snowflakes falling, to get one frosty clear breath before being suffocated by the hospital one last time.  
  
  
Clear white smoke wallowed from the corner, the familliar smell of light flowers and cigarettes filled his nose as Luka rubbed his arms."Hey, Abby"  
  
"Hi" the dark pink scarf wrapped around most of her neck, but her puckered lips showed through, sucking desperately on the cigarette in her fingers.  
  
"Going for coffee. Want some?"Luka tucked his hands into his pants pocket, looking away like Abby looked away, each avoiding each others eyes.  
  
"I'm fine" she said quietly , looking down at his murky footprints in the fresh snow.  
  
  
  
Well, I've been afraid of changin'  
'Cause I've built my life around you  
But time makes you bolder  
Children get older  
And I'm getting older too  
  
  
  
  
He sat, watching the people come and go from Doc's, the lovers wrapping each other in their coats and scarfs, kissing and rubbing their noses in giggly love.  
  
The older people crouched over their coffee or tea, taking long slow sips. They just watched the grease fall from the ceiling to the tops of their drinks.  
  
He watched the children,some kicking and screaming, mashing their food into the dirty plastic covered tables, other beaming with pride to be able to eat out alone with their favorite aunts or uncles. Anything that made them feel special.  
  
"This seat taken?"  
  
Luka looked up, and smiled."No, I was waiting for a friend, but I don't think she's going to show"  
  
Abby laughed,"Sorry"  
  
  
  
Well, I've been afraid of changin'  
'Cause I've built my life around you  
But time makes you bolder  
Children get older  
I'm getting older too 


End file.
